So she's asked the other Big Question -- will you be in the bridal party? Sure, you can don a dress, hold a bouquet, and be escorted down the aisle by a gorgeous groomsman, but how do you handle the tough stuff?

What should I bring with me on the big day? Are there any essential items I should be prepared to have on hand?

Good for you for thinking ahead. I recommend someone in the bridal party, either the Maid of Honor or a bridesmaid, bring a Bridal Emergency Kit. Ideally, this kit should contain a toothbrush and floss, breath mints, spot remover, band-aids, tampons, extra nylons, bobby pins, a needle and thread, fabric tape, a comb or brush, pressed powder, neutral lipstick and whatever else you think the bride might need.

Even if the blushing bride says she'll pack it and bring it herself, she has so much on her mind that you should insist on providing it yourself, just in case. One of your jobs as a bridesmaid is to help the bride manage both the things she remembers and remember things she forgets.

As a wonderful surprise for the bride and groom, why not have a basket of goodies for them tucked away in their getaway car or sent to their hotel room? Chances are, between greeting guests, taking photographs and cutting the cake, they won't get a chance to sit down and eat. No doubt they will be famished and a selection of their favorite foods would be welcome.

Surprisingly, the first thing newlyweds usually want to do when they get to their honeymoon suite is… eat. Don't forget to include napkins, plates, and glasses as well as a personal note from you to them.

I am a bridesmaid in my childhood best friend's wedding. Unfortunately, so is Jane, who I despise. I'm not sure I can handle dealing with her. Any advice?

If you don't think you can put aside petty grievances for one day, you might want to consider bowing out. We all have people we would rather not interact with, but sometimes we have to rise to the occasion. It's probably not a secret that you don't like Jane, but your friend chose you because she wanted you to play an active role in her special day. She also chose you because she assumes that you will be adult enough to act in a civil manner.

A conflict in personalities should not stand in the way of supporting your friend on her very special day. Who knows? Maybe the festive mood will lessen the tension between you and Jane and you will end up the best of friends. Then again… maybe not.

You also need to keep mind that one of the most important roles a bridesmaid plays is that of diplomat extraordinaire. Not only must you buffer the bride from attendant in-fighting, you may need to act as a liaison with guests who have not sent RSVPs, soothe disagreeing family members, head off problems with vendors, etc. Remember that old saying, "Choose your battles." Keep your head clear to help the bride deal with the more immediate problems she's facing.

And, although you may not get along with Jane at all, you have to recognize the two of you have a few things in common. You both are special people to the bride; honored with a meaningful role in the wedding, and you both (hopefully) care very much for the woman who has asked for your help and support. If nothing else, working toward the common goal of supporting the bride and groom should be enough to keep feelings of animosity in check.

If all else fails, and you decide against taking the higher road, you'll need to quickly, quietly, and calmly resign from your bridesmaid role.

I'm a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding. I know the bride is anxious to settle details, but I'm a working student and don't always have time to do what bride wants exactly when she wants it. For instance, she's emailed me three times this week alone about the measurements for my bridesmaid's dress. I'm going to get measured as soon as I can, but right now, I feel like I'm being harassed. Help!

Not to diminish your busy schedule, but in all probability, the bride is also juggling a full load. While, of course, you have to attend to your own needs, by accepting the role of bridesmaid, you have also agreed to attend to the needs of the wedding. The example you talk about, providing measurements for your bridesmaid's dress, hints that you may not be aware of certain bridal protocol. As a general rule, bridesmaids' dresses must be ordered months ahead of time, at the same time. If you are wearing the same dress as the other bridesmaids, this is even more important. To insure a uniform look, the dresses must be cut from the same bolt, avoiding intrinsic differences between fabric lots. You may be the last of the women to provide this information -- thus holding up the other dresses from being made. Get those measurements to her pronto!

The bigger picture here may be a little more complicated. Your friend has probably asked you to be a bridesmaid because she loves you, and counts you as one of her dearest friends. Don't hold up her plans. If she asks you for your help, don't make her ask you twice.

Because you agreed to be a bridesmaid, you should realize this honor comes with responsibilities. As much as the details seem like well, details, they are important to her. Besides, dresses are important. In all likelihood, the requests she has for you are not arbitrary, but come from vendors. For example, a seamstress needs a reasonable amount of time to make a dress, and in order to do that she needs your measurements.

It may help to remember that your responsibilities as a bridesmaid only last a short time, but the memories will last forever. Try and be timely in responding to her requests so that she doesn't regret asking you to be in the wedding.

I live across the country from my friend, who asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. Between school, work and the distance between us, I'm not sure that I'll be able to do it all. What should I do?

This would be a great time to have a detailed discussion about what is expected of you as a bridesmaid. You may have conflicting opinions about the scope of your responsibilities, and talking about it well ahead of time will lessen the chance of misunderstandings later.

Voice your concerns to the bride about time and distance constraints, but be sure that you also mention that you feel honored to have been asked to be a part of the bridal party. Don't try to gauge what type of bride she will be (relaxed, demanding, neurotic) based on your past experiences with her. Women who are normally manic have been known to exude a Zen-like calm when the time comes to plan the wedding, and vice versa. Which brings me back to that little talk you should have with the bride… forewarned is forearmed.

No wonder she wants you to be a bridesmaid! Full plate or not, you sound like a wise friend who is aware of the importance of your potential role.

There are a few solutions to your quandary; other bridesmaids, empathetic to your situation, may be willing to pick up your slack. Or perhaps you can help the bride from afar by delegating tasks to others.

Regardless, as Julie says, you should be realistic about the assistance you will (and won't) be able to give. Be open and honest about this with the bride. If you find you must decline the role, do so as soon as possible.

Being a bridesmaid is a great honor, but it is a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. Knowing ahead of time what is expected of you will help you keep your head and your heart working in harmony throughout the very special, emotional, and memorable time ahead.